The waiter brought me cheese, indeed, but cheese cut up into contemptibly small pieces; and it is the awful fact that instead of Christian bread, he brought me biscuits [crackers]. Biscuits – to one who had eaten the cheese of four great countrysides! Biscuits – to one who had proved anew for himself the sanctity of the ancient wedding between cheese and bread! I addressed the waiter in warm and moving terms. I asked him who he was that he should put asunder those whom Humanity had joined. I asked him if he did not feel, as an artist, that a solid but yielding substance like cheese went naturally with a solid, yielding substance like bread; to eat it off biscuits is like eating it off slates. I asked him if, when he said his prayers, he was so supercilious as to pray for his daily biscuits. He gave me generally to understand that he was only obeying a custom of Modern Society. I have therefore resolved to raise my voice, not against the waiter, but against Modern Society, for this huge and unparalleled modern wrong.
-G. K. Chesterton, "Cheese"
1 comment:
Samantha just commented yesterday on how difficult it is to eat pepperoni off of a cracker due to the difference in consistency. In this passage Chesterton makes a similar argument about cheese and crackers, preferring the texture of bread. I can't think of anything that pairs well with pepperoni, texture-wise. It's always falling off slices of pizza. I like pepperoni sandwiches - but again, the pepperoni is reluctant to stay fixed between my slices of bread. I think the only reasonable solution is to eat each slice of pepperoni in one bite. My mom has a recipe for a taco dip - mix mayonnaise and mexican cheese with onions, olives, and peppers, and top with pepperoni, then bake (tastier than it sounds, but not altogether wholesome). I like to scoop an individual pepperoni and a glob of cheese on a single taco chip, and cram the whole thing into my mouth. This is the best way to eat a pepperoni.
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