The Game of Questions

R: We could play at questions.
G: What good would that do?
R: Practice!
G: Statement! One—love.
R: Cheating!
G: How?
R: I hadn’t started yet.
G: Statement. Two—love.
R: Are you counting that?
G: What?
R: Are you counting that?
G: Foul! No repetitions. Three—love. First game to…
R: I’m not going to play if you’re going to be like that.
G: Whose serve?
R: Hah?
G: Foul! No grunts. Love—one.
R: Whose go?
G: Why?
R: Why not?
G: What for?
R: Foul! No synonyms. One—all.
G: What in God’s name is going on?
R: Foul! No rhetoric. Two—one.
G: What does it all add up to?
R: Can’t you guess?
G: Were you addressing me?
R: Is there anyone else?
G: Who?
R: How would I know?
G: Why do you ask?
R: Are you serious?
G: Was that rhetoric?
R: No.
G: Statement! Two—all. Game point.
R: What’s the matter with you today?
G: When?
R: What?
G: Are you deaf?
R: Am I dead?
G: Yes or no?
R: Is there a choice?
G: Is there a God?
R: Foul! No non sequiturs, three—two, one game all.
G (seriously): What’s your name?
R: What’s yours?
G: I asked you first.
R: Statement. One—love.
G: What’s your name when you’re at home?
R: What’s yours?
G: When I’m at home?
R: Is it different at home?
G: What home?
R: Haven’t you got one?
G: Why do you ask?
R: What are you driving at?
G (with emphasis): What’s your name?!
R: Repetition. Two—love. Match point to me.
G (seizing him violently): WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
R: Rhetoric! Game and match!

-Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead